Single girls in the city, looking pretty–and a bit annoyed.
As a belle in the city, it’s important to guard your heart and value your time. These two things have to go hand in hand, there’s no way around it! When one of these is not being handled with care, destruction is soon to follow. Being in the city means things are moving just a little faster than in Smalltown, U.S.A. We have to be wise about who we share our universe with, like extremely wise. But, sometimes it’s just not that easy to see. Until time passes and you have an epiphany: Oh, it’s time to cut him off!
I’m here to share five CLEAR signs that it’s time to cut em off. I’ll share a story. This story involves two people, we’ll call them Frank and Nyla.
Oh Frank and Nyla, you’ve been such an inspiration to us all!
5 Signs It’s Time to Cut Em’ Off
Frank and Nyla met during the summer. It was a great time to meet new people, since cuffin’ season was coming soon! Frank seemed to be such a great guy, Nyla even questioned whether or not this good catch was really single! But he was. He was as single as a dollar bill. Nyla and Frank hit it off pretty quickly. Frank was going through some hard times, but Nyla was so confident in him that she was able to accept him as he was. Frank, on the other hand, made it really difficult for Nyla to get close to him because he wasn’t happy with himself. Nyla had faith in Frank– more faith than he had in himself!
The seasons came and went, and Frank and Nyla grew apart. January came and went. New Year’s, Super bowl, all that fun stuff. February, another cold month came and went. And then there’s Valentine’s Day— (Nyla was Anti-Valentine’s Day this year).
March, a little sunshine, a little heat, but still not quite Spring. So what happened to the spark in Frank and Nyla’s relationship?
5. The thrill is gone.
Frank called Nyla, after weeks of not speaking. Frank, was acting as if nothing had even changed! Nyla is thinking… “Really?! Whatever dude.” Nyla was just not as excited–or interested– in talking to Frank as she remembered. Frank was so eager to share his recent accomplishments, a new car, a new business. Nyla was … unbothered. How did he manage to experience all of these things without her? Perhaps she wasn’t as important to him as she thought.
If your so-called partner can go weeks-even months– without speaking to you, it’s time to cut em’ off.
4. You lose sight of your purpose in life.
Relationships are hard work. It’s a two-fold union that requires work. But what if this “job” causes you to lose sight of your purpose in life? As single women–especially Christians– purpose is almost as important as waking up in the morning.
If you find yourself losing sight of your mission in life–he or she may not be the anchor to help you live out this mission. Be bold and on purpose and know that your perfect match is out there, also walking in his or her purpose!
3. Fighting becomes routine.
They say there’s a thin line between love and hate. Are you walking the thin line? Of course, no relationship is perfect–but when fighting becomes routine, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. Picking fights or intentionally transferring negative energy is not love, it’s borderline disrespect. One fight could cost you your life, and domestic violence is real.
If your partner shows signs of emotional and physical abuse– it’s time to cut em’ off.
2. Your partner forces you to choose between your relationship and your dream.
To my single ladies loving themselves, starting businesses, investing in their future, earning degrees, and taking care of their family and friends— it is OKAY! We live in a new age and women are making strides, real strides. Why should a woman have to choose between her dream and her relationship? She doesn’t. There are so many women–Michelle Obama, for example– who are challenging the status quo of womanhood. You CAN do it all, and you do NOT have to choose!
If your partner grows jealous of your accomplishments, he or she isn’t built for the life God has for you– cut em’ off!
1. Your partner stops investing in you.
Major key alert! Investing in a relationship costs both time and money. Courting is an important part of any relationship, and in the case of Frank and Nyla this was a huge red flag. Frank used to take Nyla out to nice restaurants, call her to ask how her day was going, and invited her out to meet his friends– and then he just stopped. Nyla found herself having less interest in giving her time to Frank, and she could tell the feeling was mutual.
If you all are not willing to invest in the relationship, it’s time to cut it off.
So, now what? Well, Frank and Nyla didn’t work out, but Nyla isn’t giving up on God and meeting her God-ordained soul mate. These are valuable lessons learned from a #BelleInTheCity and the moral of the story is to know when it’s time to move forward.
In the meantime, continue to focus on being the best version of yourself and knocking out your personal goals.
Remain faithful and fabulous…
Your perfect match is on the way!
A Belle in the City