Two Cents for the Decided Black Woman

“I can’t say I believe in God and call myself a child of God and then not see myself as a God. That wouldn’t make any sense. I wear my Nefertiti chain every day. I never take it off. I know my history. I did my research. I’m a creator of all things.”

https://religionunplugged.com/news/2020/8/7/in-beyoncs-black-is-king-african-culture-outshines-god

I’ve decided to finally accept the truth about Who I Am, and Who’s I am.

I’ve decided to reject the teachings of my former oppressor and to instead, look within for the answers I seek. God is within me, how can I fail?

It’s time to evolve black woman, evolve.

I’ve decided my inner peace, is more important than world peace. Because, if I am a piece of this world, then my peace adds to world peace by default.

I’ve decided to reject every single image used against me in the court of universal law. The image of the strong, unbreakable, emotionless woman with dark hued skin. I am no longer buying it, the jig is up.

I’ve decided to reject the idea of colorism, because every ism is used against you in the court of universal law. In fact, the truth is my melanin is the singular asset that makes me exceptional, it’s all about the skin that I’m in.

I’ve decided to innerstand that there are millions of brown-skinned black women, married to brown-skinned black men– and I am one of them, happily. I’ve decided the media is a form of distraction and is being used to control you and to keep you in the lowest frequency of them all: fear.

I’ve decided I am a Goddess, because I am created in the image of God. I am no longer subject to the powerless feuds between man and man, woman and woman, or man and woman– because I am a Goddess.

I’ve decided that politics simply aren’t my thing. I dabbled in the tireless game drenched in red and blue, only to find out that none of it was true. None of the speeches, none of the promises, none of the activism geared towards saving this dying human race. Everything is a lie.

I’ve decided to free myself from treading happily and ignorantly in the midst of Scar’s world of mass deception and mass soul execution.

I’ve decided this entire reality we’ve been living in is a complete lie, an illusion of some sorts. Perhaps, unknowingly, but we’ve all been led to live a complete lie. We’ve all been lead astray, by the teaching of former generations that, too, have been led astray. We call it tradition, but who’s tradition is it anyway?

How can I follow the patterns of my Mother, my Grandmother, and my Great-Grandmother without asking why? How can I follow her path, without wondering if she was OK? I know, she wasn’t okay. She wasn’t happy, she wasn’t free. She was doing the best she could, with what she had and it’s my responsibility to take back my freedom. Not only for me, but for my Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma.

The curse placed on black women to carry the entire world on our shoulders, with nothing in return. Sacrificing your own health, happiness, and freedom, for the sake of humanity? At what cost? Ain’t I a Woman? Ain’t she a Woman?

It’s too expensive for me.

I’ve decided to live a life filled with activism, no more performances.

I am the living word of God, walking through the valley of the shadow of death, fearing no evil.

I’ve decided it’s time for me to accept me as I am. Because, I am that I am. If I reject my own imperfections, how can I expect anyone else to love me for all of who I am? You see, we’re all built by our imperfections, that’s what makes us human. Anything else is simply an illusion, an image that starts to fade away.

I’ve decided that this war is spiritual, and is not to be seen nor fought with the human eye.

I’ve decided to bet on myself to see where this road takes me. I’ve decided my essence is priceless. It cannot be bought, auctioned, or sold to the highest bidder. Because my essence is not for sale.

I’ve decided to appreciate the ancestral music of Nina Simone, Kendrick Lamar, James Brown, Michael Jackson, Awesomeisjayell, Gill Scott Heron, you know, the lyrically great. No more industry plants hijacking our culture, for their profit.

No more fake deep music.

No more fake deep.

No more fake.

No more.

No.

I’ve decided that it’s my turn to live my best life and to bask in the glow of black femininity. I don’t work, I create. I don’t stress, I impress. I don’t hate, I love. I am love.

Once I became the love I was seeking in the world, my life transformed into my own custom color palette, laced in the finest silk and pearls, covered in luxurious textures, scents, and views.

I’ve decided I am luxury. What’s a luxury item to a luxurious soul? It’s nothing, no thing.

I’ve decided this space we’re in is only a glimpse of what’s to come. It’s a mere excerpt of the greatest story ever told. I’ve decided I’m writing this story, and in this story, I am the plot twist.

I’ve decided that I am more than my gender and my skin, since these are up for debate in 2020.

I’m a divine soul, experiencing life on Earth.

I’ve decided.

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This post is a follow-up to Two Cents for the Undecided Black Woman, by Giselle C. originally written in 2017.

Author: Giselle In The City

I’m Giselle, also known as Belle in the City Giselle. I’m the Founder of Giselle Ave. and a passionate Biz Consultant, currently creating my dream life! I reside in downtown Atlanta with my loving husband and my fur baby, Mr. Sidney, the Cat!

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