Giselle Avenue

As told to my by Danielle Alexander

What a beautiful spirit! My mother was such a fun, energetic, loving woman. She enjoyed life and spending time with her family. I remember we used to have BBQ’s every weekend when she was around. My mom was a real party girl who enjoyed live music, traveling, and hanging out with her sisters. After my parents got married, they had me and I was such a spoiled little girl. I remember she would keep me dolled up, like; I wore Easter dresses everyday and pretty little bows all over! People always tell me how I was always with my mom. Anywhere she went, I was right there on her lap.

I remember my mother being sick a lot towards the end. I didn’t really know what was going on since I was only 5, but I knew things had changed; my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother’s doctor, Parker Griffith, found the cancer pretty late and by that time, it had already spread to her ovaries. She was so sick that they brought her home and we had an in-home hospital and nurse to care for her. My dad and I slept with her every night in the basement, just to be close to her and be there with her. My mother was a fighter though, and I’ll always remember her as such. In October of 1992, God called my dear mother, Wendy Alexander home at the age of 29.

I was so confused. Why me? It’s so weird because you see everyone else with their mother and you see others having girl talks or talking about boys and I just wondered why me? Why did my mother have to die? I’m my mom’s only child; she was the most beautiful woman I knew. Over the years, I’ve been able to find strength through our loss, because I know God makes no mistakes, but it gets hard. I am thankful for a loving father who was able to assume the role of both my mother and father. Growing up, he did my hair every day for school, took me shopping for clothes, and really took the time to help develop me into the woman I am today. I am truly thankful for him. I had a friend in school who lost her mom to breast cancer, she was 7, and she went to stay with her grandmother. I am grateful that my father found strength to assume the role of a mother and a father for me.

Twenty years later, at 25, I am here to share my story with you. In honor of my mother, I proudly wear a Pink Ribbon tattoo on my chest because I don’t ever want to take it off. Breast Cancer can happen to anyone. It is not genetic in my family and my mother was the first victim we know of. I am not afraid of Breast Cancer, and I don’t think anyone else should be either. I am thankful that my mother’s gynecologist, who also delivered me, is also my gynecologist today.

I’ve never gotten over it, but it does get easier and does get better. I have more respect for whoever has gone through it because I know it is a life-changing experience. I encourage women to become a lot more aware of your body and take care of your health, proactively. I go see my mother all the time.

On her birthday, holidays, and I love her just as much now as I did when I was sitting on her lap as a young girl. My mother may be gone, but she will never be forgotten.

 Hello, I am Danielle “Xan” Alexander.

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Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash